What’s the next step?

This is real

Okay, you held it together. You quit your job and got your GED. You are in college now. You have a good part time job that you really like. But you know it’s temporary. You know it won’t last and, more importantly, it won’t get you to where you want to be.

If you want to buy that home, buy that rig that isn’t 20 years old, want a yard and a dog and an office/library, you know you have to pick yourself up again and soldier on.
And this time, though it isn’t as hard mentally, emotionally or physically, is trying in it’s on way because now it’s just time. Waiting to finish your education. Waiting to see what opportunities you can dig up for yourself. Waiting for the education and knowledge you need to be able to find something that will get you to this next goal. And you know, realistically, it is a lot of time. Just a waiting game until you are capable enough to move forward. And it is almost harder in some areas as you have come so, so far in such a short time and yet, still have so far to go.

So, bide your time. Listen to Black Veil Brides. Do birthday’s and the flu and cleaning and laundry and figure out and balance bills and rent. You are surviving now. It’s miraculous now to even do that with almost ease compared to what it was like last year.
Wait for spring. For something amazing to happen. For a degree. For a job. For the kids to get older so it is a little easier. Take a step back and look back. Reflect. Enjoy the now (as hard as that is) because just LOOK. Look at YOU! You did it. You are making it. You have a home and a van and enough money to even buy a few gifts. Take a breath and cherish this sweet, fresh day. The birds actually out for the first time in months. Those little hands grasping yours. Take a breath and love it. Because you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

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Pandora on Point

Amazing. Brave. Fierce.

I am being slightly naughty. Instead of working on accounting, I am sitting here at school listening to Pandora, marketing and blogging.
But yeah…that Pandora radio today. Wow. It’s been Hollywood Undead, Pink and Nico and Vinz. Some of my favorite songs one right after the other. Makes me feel like I am absolutely killing it and getting things done when in reality, I haven’t done that much. Yet. I have a few more likes and some shares on my page so I guess I have done a little bit, but nothing worth mentioning.
And BlackVeil Brides are now playing. Pandora…I love you today. Probably more than the warm temperatures (OMG FINALLY) and the sun shining today. And that burrito I had for lunch.

The only crappy thing is I am once again running on four hours of sleep. So I am lusting after some rich, creamy, strong coffee right now. Desperately. Mmmmmm just dreaming about it makes me all warm and tingly and makes me long for the sweet taste in my mouth…okay! Enough pornographic content for the day. Or would it be sexually explicit? I don’t know the difference. Either way. I want coffee more in my life than a man. And that should say a lot about my relationship with coffee versus men.

The only difficult thing I am facing right now is the overwhelming urge I have to start singing with headphones on.